Take Another Look











{February 16, 2010}   handcuffs

Who are these people with their eyes averting mine like clockwork a white car outside not for driving me around they don’t like to go giving things names these island people I’d go so far as to say they are crazy but I used one as a bank I didn’t expect to make money but I never figured out who drained my savings either just that it was in the middle of the night you know I bet it was me or somebody I know they say most crimes are committed by someone you know but who do I point a finger at? Even the simple act of raising a finger brings about questioning and let’s just assume the guy questioning you in the hot chair is really good at making you feel uncomfortable and making you say what they want, making you take the fall for whatever they had or have in mind- how long they’ve been planning this you don’t know- but now you are starting to feel hot and guilty inside and so you confess to whatever they want however they want because their voice calms down and even sounds agreeable even as you find yourself handcuffed for what? Oh dear. You manipulative bastard you want to scream but you have too much control to do that plus didn’t he say it made you look crazy? But nevertheless you are questioning not only his sanity but your own, for how did you so expertly end up In these handcuffs again? And when Oshiro comes for a favor you notice that not only do you grant it you also say “if Downey saw you tapping your leg like that over and over you would never hear the end of it; you would be known as the guy who perversely can’t stop tapping his legs; course he probably wouldn’t use the word perverse as that would be too perverse of him” so Oshiro goes on about a man shitting in his diapers while you look at your watch impatiently wondering when he will leave but you ask about Freud anyway and he explains about people being anal-retentive, and that is when you notice that he opened the blinds so you say “Oshiro, why did you open the blinds??” And his speech flies open faster and faster like something just got caught in his trap, and he claims he didn’t open the blinds and that the pointlessness of this argument is indisputable but besides knowing you did not open the blinds what can you do? You aren’t thoroughly knowledgeable in doing what it takes to make people admit they were lying.”But I didn’t open the blinds you did,” you say while he rants in a rabid, uncontrolled feverish way about people arguing about their name or date of birth, but you remember that he said he liked to purposefully play tricks on people’s minds to see what would happen.For example he said he would mislead somebody by encouraging them to do something that he and a large portion of society find vile just to see the result- a sort of sarcasm I believe. And now I’m supposed to call the person who ‘might make it happen’ and all I feel is dread, maybe tonight is the wrong night, but my parents would just say I was being irresponsible. After this, I do call them, and everything comes through, but still.

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