Take Another Look

{March 19, 2010}   twilight

Sleep won’t come
Can hear the birds tentative songs
The cars are empty
My clock ticks
Can you be the most sensitive and still be tough and take things out and still be ok
This place feels beaten up like it was trashed
Kind of like my insides?
I’ve been alone so long it is easy to return to not knowing what caring feels like- I think I was fooled the whole time, he probably just liked my age and was a sicko. It is the most reasonable reason right now. Otherwise he would have tried to contact me.
Christina called me I need to call her back. It is hard when you and your friends can’t seem to climb out of the situations you are in. I don’t know where to go. I am not so angry now. I feel a loss of hope that transcends the birdsong

Maybe nothing transcends the birdsong

The hate won’t go away it pushes up against me raping me with its force

Take it away..- I am too sad to deal with any force at all. A gun in my hands is just a weapon that falls on the floor and who knows who might pick it up


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